Hi there! I just thought I’d pop on here and share an update on how I’ve been doing since I started anti-anxiety and depression meds. Truthfully, I haven’t been feeling my best lately, which is why I haven’t blogged much over the last two weeks. I want to share this journey completely. As in, I won’t only being sharing the highs, but the lows as well. I feel that is the most honest and genuine way.

If anyone is wondering. I started on Klonopin for anxiety and Effexor XR for depression.  I take the generic version of both. I initially only picked up the Klonopin because the reviews I read for Effexor really scared me. I am one of those who Googles medication reviews and talks herself out of it before even trying, lol. This time, I made an appointment to express my fears of starting Effexor with my doctor. The visit didn’t exactly go the way I had hoped. Basically, I felt the doctor was offended and took the fact I didn’t trust his recommendation as an insult. He didn’t even ask me what my concerns were or why I was scared. (I went in with a list to discuss that I wasn’t given the chance to bring up). He stated “this isn’t going to work” and “you can’t be my patient” if I don’t trust him and his reasoning behind what he prescribed. I wish he would have asked me why I was scared and we could have talked things through more. He just asked me to have faith and at least try & if it didn’t work, he would change it. I left feeling small and defeated, but a part of me understood his point about having faith in his choice and I started the Effexor the next day.

I haven’t experienced any issue with the Klonopin. It makes me calm and feel less anxious which is what I needed as my anxiety was at an all time high. The first week or two on Effexor seemed okay. I don’t know if it was a placebo effect or not but I felt better. Things that would usually bother me didn’t. It wasn’t a complete 360 but I felt a noticeable difference. However, i don’t know whether to attribute that to the Klonopin or Effexor. But, after those first two weeks, I started to notice more side effects. My appetite is almost none existent. My energy levels are extremely low. I started getting headaches. (I am a migraine sufferer but these weren’t migraines). Worst of all, I noticed weight gain. I gained 10 pounds in two weeks. My mind was completely blown as I really don’t eat much to begin with and these meds made my appetite disappear. I took this side effect really hard because I worked my ass off and lost 30lbs and have kept it off steadily for the last two years. I have also noticed that I started to have more dark days again. I started feeling more depressed than when I started the meds. I called my doctor today and told him I am feeling worse and he told me to stop the Effexor. Not wean, but just totally stop. I’m worried about withdrawal symptoms but I was only on it barely a month so I pray I will feel ok.

Lately, I have just been questioning whether or not medication was the right choice or not. I know when it comes to mental illness and medication, it takes trial and error sometimes before you find exactly whats right for you. All I know is that I need help. I’m not giving up, thats for sure. I have an appointment next week and I will talk to my doctor about other medication options and side effects. I will be more firm and make sure I get my questions answered before I leave. I pray this visit goes better than last time.

In the mean time, I have been researching other ways to heal from anxiety and depression. I am researching crystals, essential oils, meditation, etc. I just bought some crystals that are good for easing depression so I will let you all know how that goes. I’m still in the very early stages of learning more about crystals and my spirituality as a whole. I am keeping my mind and heart open!!





4 thoughts on “Update

  1. Just the mere fact that you’re exploring the right medication for you means you’re on to recovery.

    I don’t know squat about prescription drugs but I have my own share of depression. It’s only recently that our country, the Philippines started taking mental health seriously. I hope your message, and your entire blog be popular in our country. We could learn a lot from you

    1. Thank you so much for your comment Roel. I think even in the US, people are still afraid to talk about “invisible” illnesses like depression. I hope that people become more comfortable discussing mental health and more than anything, lose the fear of asking for help.

  2. I have had 3 doctors in the past 10 years. I meet the 4th one, another new one this month.
    They have been hit or miss with me, and the miss was awful. I called him Doctor Bonehead. He only wanted to tell me to go to the gym every time I had an appointment, and by the end of our doctor patient relationship, I did have a screaming match with him in his office and didn’t want to go see him anymore because he was treating me like a hypochondriac.
    I was once put on Paxil. I took it for a week, and it made me sick to my stomach. I told that doctor (a different one) that I was not going to take it anymore, and her response was for me to take a few weeks off work to adjust to it. That never happened. I am one of the lucky ones. I am able to force myself to go through the motions when I am not feeling like my optimistic self. I am fairly certain that I suffer from Seasonal Depression, in the winter. I have never been diagnosed, and thankfully, my husband is supportive of me all the time.
    Stick to your gut is my advice. Speak out what you think, but keep an open mind to what the doctor has to say. Google doesn’t have a Medical License. If you open the discussion, there may be reasons that you are not aware of that are leading your Doctor to want you to try the different medicines to help you. Especially if you are already taking any other prescriptions. They may interfere with something you already take, or maybe the choices the doctor has have been limited based on your medical history or what you are already taking.

    1. Thank you so much for sharing your experience Tish! I had my visit today and it went so well. My doctor really listened and put me on Wellbutrin XL. I have a good feeling this with the Klonopin is going to work really well for me. I am keeping the faith for sure! I’m so glad your husband is supportive, because having that support system makes such a difference. My husband supports me as well which I’m immensely grateful for!

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