Hi there! I just thought I’d pop on here and share an update on how I’ve been doing since I started anti-anxiety and depression meds. Truthfully, I haven’t been feeling my best lately, which is why I haven’t blogged much over the last two weeks. I want to share this journey completely. As in, I won’t only being sharing the highs, but the lows as well. I feel that is the most honest and genuine way.
If anyone is wondering. I started on Klonopin for anxiety and Effexor XR for depression. I take the generic version of both. I initially only picked up the Klonopin because the reviews I read for Effexor really scared me. I am one of those who Googles medication reviews and talks herself out of it before even trying, lol. This time, I made an appointment to express my fears of starting Effexor with my doctor. The visit didn’t exactly go the way I had hoped. Basically, I felt the doctor was offended and took the fact I didn’t trust his recommendation as an insult. He didn’t even ask me what my concerns were or why I was scared. (I went in with a list to discuss that I wasn’t given the chance to bring up). He stated “this isn’t going to work” and “you can’t be my patient” if I don’t trust him and his reasoning behind what he prescribed. I wish he would have asked me why I was scared and we could have talked things through more. He just asked me to have faith and at least try & if it didn’t work, he would change it. I left feeling small and defeated, but a part of me understood his point about having faith in his choice and I started the Effexor the next day.
I haven’t experienced any issue with the Klonopin. It makes me calm and feel less anxious which is what I needed as my anxiety was at an all time high. The first week or two on Effexor seemed okay. I don’t know if it was a placebo effect or not but I felt better. Things that would usually bother me didn’t. It wasn’t a complete 360 but I felt a noticeable difference. However, i don’t know whether to attribute that to the Klonopin or Effexor. But, after those first two weeks, I started to notice more side effects. My appetite is almost none existent. My energy levels are extremely low. I started getting headaches. (I am a migraine sufferer but these weren’t migraines). Worst of all, I noticed weight gain. I gained 10 pounds in two weeks. My mind was completely blown as I really don’t eat much to begin with and these meds made my appetite disappear. I took this side effect really hard because I worked my ass off and lost 30lbs and have kept it off steadily for the last two years. I have also noticed that I started to have more dark days again. I started feeling more depressed than when I started the meds. I called my doctor today and told him I am feeling worse and he told me to stop the Effexor. Not wean, but just totally stop. I’m worried about withdrawal symptoms but I was only on it barely a month so I pray I will feel ok.
Lately, I have just been questioning whether or not medication was the right choice or not. I know when it comes to mental illness and medication, it takes trial and error sometimes before you find exactly whats right for you. All I know is that I need help. I’m not giving up, thats for sure. I have an appointment next week and I will talk to my doctor about other medication options and side effects. I will be more firm and make sure I get my questions answered before I leave. I pray this visit goes better than last time.
In the mean time, I have been researching other ways to heal from anxiety and depression. I am researching crystals, essential oils, meditation, etc. I just bought some crystals that are good for easing depression so I will let you all know how that goes. I’m still in the very early stages of learning more about crystals and my spirituality as a whole. I am keeping my mind and heart open!!